Thursday, March 20, 2014


Back in the day, there were certain traits that all women were supposed to have.  It may be difficult for younger women to believe but at one time, women were to be demure, dainty, and helpless.  Out of the way.  Women were to be quiet, keep the house clean, and have dinner on the table when the man of the house came home. But mostly, women were expected to be modest.  Modesty was considered a virtue, the pinnacle of womanhood.  That meant that women were not supposed to act too cocky or too confident, among other things. 

Just the women.

Men didn't have to be modest. Men have always been able to stand up and brag about what they've done.  They can shout out their accomplishments whenever and wherever.  Boys are encouraged to act out their confidence with a swagger and a healthy sense of their own worth.  When a man struts, people tend to like it. When a woman struts, she was assumed to be a prostitute. 

If I came home with an A on my report card, hypothetically, I wasn't supposed to scream it from the rooftops.  That was called bragging.  Girls were not supposed to smartypants.  My brother, however, was not only allowed to brag about his grades, but I was supposed to congratulate him.  Never mind that my brother had academic challenges. Every situation was scarily similar.  I was expected to be a cheerleader without any expectation of reciprocity.  I never understood why women weren't supposed to be proud of themselves and their accomplishments.  I grew up angry that I was expected to hide my lights or dim them. Even with the Women's Revolution, the pressure was still there.

We live in a different time.  These days, women can be as loud and proud as they want to be.  We can throw our heads back and do our own little Mary Tyler Moore twirl whenever we want(Google it).  We can speak up about what we've accomplished without feeling shameful about it. We've earned the right to brag if we like.  We've earned the right to holler as loud as we can.  Women don't have to be demure or dainty or quiet if we don't want to.  Not anymore.

For which I am forever grateful.

Mama’s Losin’ It

A blog post inspired by the word: modest


  1. Totally true! Though I still feel like society looks down on women who are TOO loud. And it's really unfair.

  2. I am sure that was the norm. Maybe I was lucky. I was born in the 50's and even though us girls were expected to dress modestly, we (brothers and sisters) were all treated equal and fair. My father always told us we could be anything we wanted to be; do anything we wanted. We were only limited by ourselves. We grew up with expectations, respect, and equality. My parents got it right!

  3. I, too, was born in the 50s and had parents who believed I could accomplish whatever I wanted to be. We were the blessed ones!

  4. Me too! I love that women have been advocating for our own rights for years and that we're finally comfortable being who we are and being proud of it! Girl power!!


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