Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Nobody Better Lay A Finger

We separated the body parts, tossing them out the window at random intervals along our drive across country. The heart and other viscera we threw into an incinerator, and watched them burn away.

Then there was only the head. 

It sat in a Rubbermaid tub on the backseat. Occasionally we hit a bump, and then the head would tumble around in the container, an oddly squishy sound in the darkness.  We would probably throw the head out into the desert.  It served the bastard right.

"What the hell did we just do?" I asked.  The entire day suddenly seemed too surreal to have actually happened; a bad trip, and nothing more.

"We?" Laura snorted, and gave me a sideways look, her hands at ten and two. "You got a mirror in your pocket? Because I'm just the cleanup crew here.  I didn't touch the guy until after he was dead."

I was too wound up to point out that Laura was the one who owned the chainsaw, "just in case".  I also could have mentioned the gloves, heavy duty trash bags and four gallon container of bleach that she always carried in her car.   I kept my mouth shut.  Fighting with the person who knew more about getting rid of bodies than the Mob was kind of stupid. Besides, she was saving my backside.

"He just brought out the animal in me," I scrubbed my face, as if I could erase the vivid images.  "I just lost it."

"It happens to us all," Laura was always philosophical at times like these.   I was less so, but that's likely because I had just killed my boyfriend.  That sort of event tended to color one's outlook a bit. I wasn't a bit sorry that I had done it, either. Even now, with a nagging fear that we had left some sort of clue behind for the police, I was still outraged.

"He knew that was my last Butterfinger, the son of a bitch!"





The prompt is the third definition of the word ANIMAL.

23 comments:

  1. Now, that's how I feel about Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I get this!!! Ha! I couldn't help but visualize that head bouncing around!!! You do good dark, missy!!!

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  2. oh dear god the last line is priceless. :)

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  3. Ha!ha!Stringent punishment for snitching her last butterfinger-coo ! Loved the way it started -throwing body parts,burning some and travelling with the squishy head and then came the icing on the cake-the ending!Fantastic-loved it:-)

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  4. *hahaha* I was all set for a creepy ending, and I got "sweet" instead. :) Seriously, though, I love your narrator's voice. Very conversational and genuine, with a surreal (as you said yourself) casualness. Great job.

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  5. Replies
    1. Then it was all worth it! Thank you for reading!

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  6. Butterfingers aren't worth it. Maybe a Milky Way.

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    Replies
    1. For a Milky Way, you lose an appendage!

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  7. I'm sorry, but your story just isn't believable. Nobody would kill their boyfriend over a Butterfinger. Now, a Snickers maybe ... :)

    Loved this. Even with the hint in the title I didn't see the end coming. From creepy to hilarious in record time. Great job!

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  8. Great last line! Eating the last Butterfinger is a heinous crime. Men had better stay away from our chocolate or else... :) This was super-creepy with the preparation and clean up, but the ending made it funny. Now I'm off to figure out if my finding death and dismembermet hilarious means there's something wrong with me...

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  9. Ah, yes. The point at which life is worth less than a candy bar.
    That was a riproaring start, Tina. Totally rocked the first sentence.
    And the bit about the squelching head. Um, yuk.
    You say you live where...? Oh, but no prob - I don't like Butterfingers, anyway.

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    1. I have had that first sentence in my head for about a year now! I am glad I finally found a story to attach it to.

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  10. Though the last line made me laugh, when I read it again knowing the end, I actually found it chilling, speaking to a deeper madness especially given that Laura seems to drive around with a serial killer kit in her car. Wonderful as always!

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    1. It is amazing what passes for 'normal' these days, isn't it? Thanks for reading!

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  11. I totally missed this the first time through all the stories. I am glad that I came back through them and found yours. Delightfully devious!

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  12. I love this! That ending caught me completely off guard but is so perfect. Excellent story here.

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  13. OMG. That's hilarious. I liked this story without the last line, but I like it with it, too. Great storytelling. The head in the container sealed the deal for me. :-) Thanks for linking up. Don't forget to vote!

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