Monday, March 11, 2013

So Do I Owe Blind Melon Money?

I've found myself complaining about the lack of rain these days, and I guess if Blind Melon doesn't like it, they can come speak to me about it.   I whine about our recent dry spell often, and I am sure that my friends and family and random strangers are sick of it, but it is what it is.   I know that whining about such things is generally associated with elderly people with canes, but once I became a homeowner, I started worrying about such things.  Too little rain and the foundation can crack due to the house settling!!! That thought keeps me up nights. But the worst?  The dust.  Almost constantly the wind is whipping up dust devils, and the air is saturated with dust, and we breathe that stuff in.  I'm 93.67% sure that that is why Zane and I have had this persistent cough for the past few months.  The only reason that I'm not sucking on my inhaler every hour is the thought that I should not be opening up my lungs so more dust can be sucked in.

Our back yard was green last year only because of the weeds, but even those died, and now we have a ton of dirt patches.  The dog loves those dirt patches because she is at that annoying puppy stage where she wants to dig a hole in every surface out there.  She'd dig a hole in the carpet if we left her alone!  The cats seem to survive on less water than the dog, but they spend most days sleeping, while Maisy is always running all over the back yard just to feel the wind as her ears flap in the breeze.  Cats are natural conservationists, living only in the moment, working only hard enough to survive.  No wonder those two species have so much trouble getting along.

I always put out water in the back yard for the birds and random critters.   I'm a sucker for animals.  But I have to be careful--standing water is where mosquitoes lay their eggs.  There can't be too many mosquitoes, it upsets the balance of the Force, and the world would tilt on its axis.  Except that the birds around here love them some mosquitoes, so maybe mosquitoes are good eating on some odd plane of existence.  Maybe somewhere mosquitoes are a delicacy. Maybe the special there is mosquito soup, mosquito rollups, mosquito salad sandwiches.  Maybe in this place mosquitoes are considered better than bacon.   

Nah.  Nothing is better than bacon.

So anyway, what does a woman have to do to get some rain around here?  Should I do a rain dance?  I could totally do that, as long as no nudity is involved.  Okay maybe a little nudity, if that will get me some rain.


  1. I bought a magnet for the fridge last week. It says "Yay Bacon!"

    Yay bacon, indeed. :)


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