My son wants a sibling. He's made that very clear on several occasions. Zane has already begun having elaborate conversations with his "brother", and they appear to discuss many fascinating topics, such as why Mama looks so tired. I know that it is common for children to have imaginary playmates, but I didn't think that Zane would pick a brother to play with. Since he is an only child, it is frustrating for him. He wants to have someone to play with, other than our dog Maisy.
I would like to have another child, if I am honest with myself. I liked being pregnant. I enjoy being a mom, as tiring as it can be, and I would love for Zane to have a sibling. It's really a shame that my body doesn't want to cooperate with what I want, but it is what it is. The likelihood that I would survive a third pregnancy is slim, given my age and how the past two ended with me almost dying. We don't have the plus 30k for infertility, nor do we have the 75k that is needed for a surrogate. We don't have the cash for adoption, either. Unless someone just shows up on my doorstep with a baby, odds are that the door of additional children for our family has shut for good.
I understand. I don't have to like it, but I understand it.
Growing up, my brother and I spent a lot of time together. We fought constantly with each other, but if anyone messed with me, my brother had my back, and vice versa. We were partners in crime as well as brothers in arms. There was a sense of belonging in this new family, because they chose you. Zane won't experience that, and it makes me sad.
So I told Zane the next time he decides that he needs a sibling, he should pray for one. I figure that this is probably the only way that he'll get a brother or a sister, if he truly wants one. If it is meant to be, it will happen.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (in the sidebar). .
- Link up your post below.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.