Sunday, February 26, 2012

Zane's Sister

We have never said anything to our son about the sister he would have had if I hadn't miscarried.  It would be difficult to explain pre eclampsia. It would be difficult talking about death. Etc.  Maybe some day when he's older, we will sit him down and tell him about her.  Maybe not.  I don't know.  I'm making this parenting stuff up as I go. 

There was a unit on Family at his school; Zane had to bring in a picture of himself with his family.  We expected him to learn about sisters and brothers.  But imagine our surprise to hear Z talking to 'My sister'.  Huh? Zane has long, convoluted conversations with his sister while playing.  He tells us that 'his sister' told him variously random things.  He even blames things that happen when he is into mischief on his sister.  And Darth Maul. But that's another blog post. 

I'll admit that I was a little creeped out at the idea of Zane's sister Zoe sticking around. I've read way too many of those scary books at night before bed, and I'm a Catholic.  The Exorcist and Poltergeist pretty much sealed in all those sorts of fears.  Could the spirit of a never-born sibling still be hovering about our house?  I would hope that if she were about, that she would be protective of her little brother, but why wasn't she in a better place?  If she were actually hovering, were her motives malicious? Was I going to get pushed down the stairs one day?  It's like a bad horror movie that goes straight to dvd, and it was completely ridiculous, I know that.  But still, I worried.  Because that is what I do.  Finally, I had worried enough. 

"Zane, what is your sister's name?"  I hunched up my shoulders a little, just in case. 

 "Loretta the First."

That response was so totally left field that a relieved laugh escaped before I could stop it.  Once I didn't have to worry about disembodied spirits pushing me down the stairs, I was over it.   Yet Zane is like every kid out there; what gets a laugh will be repeated.  So he keeps talking about his sister.  He's changed her name several times, however.  The last time I asked, her name was Fred. 

I can deal with Fred.


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