Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Remembered: Unfulfilled

Prompt:  This week we’d like you to write a memoir piece about an unfulfilled goal or a broken resolution, beginning with the words, “I knew what I wanted”.  If this sucks, I apologize.  I am extremely tired and fighting off a migraine.

I knew what I wanted. I wanted to lose thirty pounds.  I was going on this diet, I was going to exercise, and dammit, that lard around my stomach was just going to melt off in the face of my determination.  I would be bikini ready by May.   I didn't really see a problem; the weight would just fall off once I started exercising.  This would be so EASY!

I had willpower.

The diet I was on was very restricted,  the portions tiny.   I felt as though I were in the desert, eating a mirage of food, while my tummy did the rumbly thing, usually in the middle of class.  I didn't want to disturb my peers and upset my professors.   It was for the benefit of others that I brought a candy bar to snack on; not everyone is able to focus on their studies with the rumble of empty stomachs rolling about.

The exercise involved running. Lots and Lots of running.  My breath burned a hole in my chest in order to allow a secondary access point  to fill up my lungs with air.  My kneecaps grinding together with every step.  It was a gruelingly strenuous three flights of stairs. I had to drink a gallon of Gatorade to get my electrolytes recharged. Who knew that Gatorade and KitKat bars tasted so well together?

After all that work, I needed to come home and relax with the television, closing my eyes.   A large bowl of popcorn was in my hands when I woke up!   Dang, it's slathered with salt butter, too.  But I can't let it  go to waste, because I would feel bad.   Starving kids in China and all that. 

I gained 10 pounds in a month.  Depression set in.  I felt horrible, and drowned my sorrows in pizza and beer.  Obviously, I was meant to be sort-of-round-shaped.


  1. We're not fat, we're "fluffy." And don't you hate logic and rationalization? Welp, can't help that there's butter already on the popcorn, can't take it off now!

  2. "that lard around my stomach was just going to melt off in the face of my determination"-- I love this! It's exactly how I see my stomach and my desire to lose it!

  3. Such good rationalizations, I don't go on diets, I eat better.....not!

  4. I'm in the process of living that dream RIGHT NOW!! Only it's 15 pounds. . . and when I've crushed that goal I'll move on to 10 more. . . maybe.

  5. I'm laughing with you. WITH YOU.

    Hope that migraine goes away.

  6. Never underestimate feeling happy and healthy! That migraine is probably robbing you of both..blah...be well quickly!

  7. Hahaha! Sounds like a masterclass in body-shape acceptance to me!!! If only Aussie bakery food didn't taste so good, I'd be ON that diet myself!!!

  8. Ah, yes. I feel your pain! We always start with such good intentions, don't we?


I welcome comments, but reserve the right to correct your spelling because I am OCD about it!