Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Sun Always Shines On TV

I don't watch human reality shows.  The closest I come to watching something resembling a reality show is American Idol, and we all know that show is rigged. All those ridiculously horrid singers auditioning make it on camera because they make for interesting television, not because anyone actually thinks that they can sing.  Rigged is not reality.  I am going to rant about this.

My friends and coworkers watch shows about housewives and Jersey and they discuss the train wrecks that these people appear to be living. They go on and on about the Kardashians and other pseudo-celebrities, thinking that they've been given an intimate slice of their lives.  It's crap.  I have no problem watching animal reality shows.  But those animal shows are more realistic than any of the stuff they show about humans, of that I have no doubt. 

The average size of a woman in this country is 14, for instance. It would therefore make sense that reality shows would have average sized women, if they truly were reality-based.  All I've ever seen in advertisements are women so emaciated that I want to find them and feed them a sammich.  They all look like Stepford Wives, not real people.  Victoria's Secret is that none of those scantily clad models are normal representations of what women actually look like.  

And what woman looks her best 24/7?  None that I know.  I may start the day looking sort of put together, if I've had enough coffee.  Then life happens. I miss an appointment, I get yelled at by my boss, my nose gets shiny, my hair goes flat, my feet hurt, and people generally start to piss me off.  I go to bed looking  horrible.  Even if it's date night, I may still be too tired to make any sort of effort, but my husband loves me.  Also, he signed a legally binding contract saying that he has to put up with me.

Those bachelor shows?  Seriously?  They're putting all those men in the same place to compete with each other for one girl, and all of them act like complete doormats until she picks one of them?  No brawling?  No jockeying for position?  That makes no sense, from an evolutionary viewpoint.  Think lions, not lambs. Do men have "frenemies"? The one time I watched five minutes of a show because I was too lazy to change the channel, all those men were hanging out together, acting like best buds, waiting for the woman to "pick" them.   Even if there were no gladiator-type fistfights, men competing for the affections of a woman certainly don't pal around together, even when forced. The love of a woman is at stake, after all.

In reality, people walk out of public restrooms with paper stuck to their shoe, or their zipper down.  People spill things down the front of their outfits and walk around without noticing.  Clothes don't always fit correctly.  People sometimes spit when they talk. Hair doesn't always have that 'just styled' look.  People don't associate with people they don't like or who act completely unhinged. People fall asleep in the middle of getting romantic. Issues don't get resolved within an hour, or during sweeps month. 

Reality is messy.  I live it.  I don't want to see it on TV.


  1. Amen. Although I do like to watch the Amazing Race but only because I get to peek and see what things are like someplace else. The teams usually wind up pissing me off with all their bickering!

  2. I can't think of one reality show I watch. We got netflix and now I am obsessing on British mystery.


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