My Son the Word Generator

When we arrived at the daycare yesterday evening, Zane's teacher, Ms.YoGabbaGabba!(that's what Zane calls her) met us at the door. She reported that Zane had had a brief altercation with his current BFF, Ethan, during an activity. Zane settled things the way small children do: he called Ethan a "poopy-a**".

We were shocked, and quickly we reassured the teacher that we had NO idea where he had heard such a word. And that we NEVER used that particular word. I think we were convincing in our parental horror. We packed Zane up and got into the car.

Larry started off by wondering aloud where Zane heard that word. I was quick to point out that Larry had used the word "poopyhead" at one point in discussing politics. And "dum-dum". And "stupid". And "crap". I probably wasn't all that innocent in my word usage, either, but my personal memory bank had mysteriously been wiped clean by the fact that I had slept. My husband and I could not think of a single time where we had used the word "a**". We don't know where Zane got that word.

But the more I thought about it, Zane's usage of "poopy-a**" was actually a GOOD thing. Because he actually took a word he had heard my husband use, "poopyhead", deleted part of the word, and added another word he had picked up somewhere, to create a BRAND NEW WORD. That's pretty darn smart for a three year old, to manipulate language to create a new word, all by himself. So this is very much a wonderful occurrence, then, and we would normally be praising Zane for his ingenuity IF he had chosen to create a different word.

We will not do that, of course. At least we probably won't.

A Minor Miscommunication

I am in the kitchen, cleaning up dishes. My husband is out taking care of his mother. Zane is in the living room, playing. I can't see him, but I can hear him talking to himself, as well as the cats.

"Are these my balls, Mama?"

I froze. "I'm not ready for my child to be asking these questions! Why doesn't he ever ask his father this stuff??? Why isn't that man here right now to answer this question????" Only in my mind there was a LOT of cursing thrown in there for good measure. I am also thinking, "Wow! Five words strung together as a complete sentence! And I understood every word! I'm not hearing impaired after all! Yay!"

Zane came walking around the corner, carrying a plastic bag full of those soft, squishy balls that they sometimes throw to the crowd at sporting events. These in particular were decorated with the San Antonio Spurs logo. Someone had given my husband a bag of them, and I guess he had left it on the couch.

I exhaled heavily. Zane looked at me.

"Okay, Mama?" My son asked.

"Okay now, Son," I responded.

Improving Expressive Language, One Word at a Time

When Zane turned three, I thought that was it for speech services. The ECI(Early Childhood Intervention) program that had been working with him was supposed to stop the day he turned three, and Zane was a DNQ(does not qualify) for special education. I had resigned myself to being the Universal Translator for my son.

However, the ECI speech therapist seems to be continuing to see him at daycare. We've found two progress notes in his cubby when we went to pick him up, and they are certainly speech progress notes. So I'm torn. Do I call the ECI group and let them know about it? I don't think that any law is being broken, so my first instinct is "no harm, no foul". Meaning that it is not hurting Zane to have extra therapy, and he is deriving "educational benefit" from the service. Zane is obviously getting better at speaking. A short time ago, he brought me his red truck, which was in two pieces.

"Did you break your truck, Zane?" I asked as I took the pieces from him and started trying to put them back together.

"Yes. I. Did," he enunciated perfectly. For the first time I actually understood each word my son said to me. I was very excited at this "Rain in Spain" moment. Zane might make it, after all. *relief*

Oh, and apparently it is National School Psychologist week. Most people have no clue what a school psychologist does. Or if they even exist, and are myths perpetuated by grumpy diagnosticians. Since I am a school psychologist, I am going to appreciate myself a bit this week in celebration. Like eating a few extra chocolates...or a snickerdoodle cupcake from the Gruene Flour Cupcakery, which is simply awesome in a way the tongue just can't describe.

Anyway, the point of all this about school psychologists? Find out who they are and what they do at your child's school! And maybe bring them a cupcake to show that you appreciate them. We never hear that we are appreciated!

Speaking Clearly is Hard

Zane is into trains. "Choo-choos" is what he calls them, and he wants to learn all about them. We have several books that describe the different cars that one might see on a train--hopper cars, coal cars, piggyback flat cars, etc. One of the cars is called a 'gondola car'. Zane is trying very hard to say that.

Unfortunately, his attempts to say "gondola car" come out sounding like "G-- D---- Car!"

I swear that is what he is trying to say.

The Prognosis is Good...

Zane was sick this morning with a fever, so my husband stayed home and took him to the doctor. Zane does not like to go to the doctor, mostly because he hates for them to look at his throat. But Zane did relatively well today, and the doctor and my husband were able to have a bit of discussion. As Larry and Zane were leaving, the doctor asked "So how's the speech?"

"I think it's getting pretty good, actually," My husband replies.

"I do too," says Zane.

The doctor was still chuckling when they left, my husband reported.

Bad Habits

My son has picked up a few habits while at the daycare. Some are good. He no longer freaks out when we drop him off--he just goes to where the teacher tells him, looks at me and says "Bye". He talks a LOT about "baby school", at least a lot more than he did before daycare. He also hasn't had any issues with hitting kids in a long time, and when I've been able to watch him secretly he seems to have some kids he has made friends with. He says 'please' and 'thank you' regularly. Those are all great social behaviors that I worried he would not ever acquire, so yay.

Attending daycare, however, my son has acquired some bad habits from his peers. Some are driving me a bit crazy. Before daycare, my son only cried when he was hurt or was in trouble for something. But now, if you tell him 'no', he starts to 'cry'. I mean he goes through the SOUNDS of crying without actually crying. He even puts his fingers in his mouth for extra dramatic effect! And it's the most fake 'cry' I've ever heard, too. My husband still hasn't figured out the difference, but I can tell without even looking at my child that he's faking.

Another thing my son does is respond to everything you ask him with a casual "no". Zane went from never saying the word 'no' to using it all the time. Pretty much every question you ask him is answered "no", no matter what. Right now I have to assume that he does mean 'no', until data convinces me otherwise.

The final behavior my son has been exhibiting since he started daycare is sheer bossiness. He's been ordering everyone in the house around these days, and if we don't do as he says he tells us to "go and sit!" It's cute when he's ordering one of the cats around, but not so much when he's telling me which chair I can sit on. I've been put in Zane's version of 'time out' several days in a row for not complying. We won't talk about Daddy.

I May Have to Get Medieval

My son was a preemie.  Preemies have a higher incidence of developmental disabilities.  I work with kids who have disabilities.  So I have been on the lookout for any problems since the day my sweet baby was born.  I have worried about his vision, his hearing, his muscle growth, his oral motor skills, his gross motor skills and his fine motor skills.  I have bothered the people I work with who spend time with the younger kids with questions about what is normal and what is not.  (a special shout out to our Occupational Therapist, who probably has wanted to tell me to shaddup on several occasions, for answering my questions so cheerfully.)

Zane is a very smart kid, even if I'm a little biased.  He's very alert, and it's obvious that he is fascinated by his world and that he wants to know all about it.  He's what I call a Problem Solver.  For example, most kids will go in another direction when the way is barred by a baby gate.  Not my son.  He sat in front of the baby gate, studied it, and figured out how to get it out of the way.  He didn't just do this with one baby gate--he's done it with three different gates.  He watched us opening the front door, and before we knew it he had figured out how to open it.  We put on one of those things that is supposed to "childproof" the door so a kid can't open it.  Plus we lock the front door.  Zane figured out how to turn the lock and overcame the "childproof" door handle.  Ultimately we had to have a second deadbolt installed at our eye level so Zane wouldn't exit without anyone knowing(when you are in the kitchen, you can't see the front door). 

My son is smart, yes, but he is a little behind on his expressive language. So we got him some early intervention services.  These are the services that are supposed to be happening before the child turns three.  The goal is to eliminate future problems by intervening early.  Zane qualified for those services, and in December we worked out a plan where he would see an intervention specialist to work on his behavior and a speech therapist to work on his speech.  The intervention specialist has consistently been to see Zane twice a month, just like the plan stated.  The speech therapist has been to see him once, in December.  She has called my sister-in-law a couple of times to say that she couldn't make it and she would reschedule, but then hasn't called back.  We have tried calling her and she has not returned our calls. 

The last time I spoke to the intervention specialist I mentioned that Zane had not seen the speech therapist.  I also mentioned that I would be asking for compensatory services.  She said she would be there twice a month, so she owes us at least five sessions.  The intervention specialist called this morning to say that yes, we would be getting services that were agreed upon.  She asked me if I wanted to take my complaint up the ladder.  I said that all I cared about is that my son get what he needs, and if that is happening, I'm happy.  I don't need to beat anyone up about this...yet.  My impression of this speech therapist is that she thinks that the parents of her clients are ignorant, that we won't notice that she's not doing what she said she would do.  I'm sure that she has some excuse, and maybe it is legitimate, but I don't care.  What I care about is that my son is having speech problems and the person who is supposed to be working on those speech problems is not doing her job.  And if she is treating MY son with this much inattention, what is she doing for the kids who have parents who don't know enough about their rights to complain?

I may have to raise a ruckus, as my dad used to say.  And raising a ruckus is something that I am pretty good at!