Stress Week, 2010

This is TAKS week, meaning that everyone who is anyone in education in Texas is clenching their buttcheeks while the kids take their standardized assessments.  The standardized assessments that some idiot out there thinks means that kids are learning something aren't actually useful for much of anything.  They are a waste of time, which is why the state isn't using them for high school students starting next year. 

Here's what would be a more meaningful measure of student success:  a job.  Let's judge a school district as successful based on the percentage of students who a)graduate from the high school; b)achieve some form of higher learning degree or join the military; and c)are able to get and keep a full-time job longer than a year.

The goal of a school is not only to create a life-long learner, it is also to create a taxpaying citizen.  In order to be a taxpaying citizen, one has to have a job.  Taxpaying citizens who have a job contribute to the economy, buying food, housing, etc.  They are members of a community.

Birds are Amazing Creatures

Mothers everywhere understand that any car that contains a child will, over the course of time, accumulate a sediment of cookie crumbs, cracker crumbs and the "what the heck is that?" item on the floor.  Often, as I am putting my son in his car seat, I will try to grab as much of this sediment as I can scoop up and throw it outside the car.  I am not littering.  Rather than throw away those crumbles of food, I am feeding birds with them.  After I get in my car and am putting on my seatbelt, I'll usually see one or two grackles who have spotted the morsels and have come to eat them.  The other day I threw out a couple of large cookie parts, and I figured that a bird would take a while to eat those.  What I didn't expect was to see a grackle pick up the piece and take it to a spot where another car had left a puddle of water from their a/c unit.  As I watched, the bird dipped the cookie part into the shallow puddle to soften it!  It made me chuckle, because I don't think I know five people who would be smart enough to think to use that puddle in that way, let alone any other members of the animal kingdom. 

I like to watch birds. They are pretty successful survivors.  I have a bird feeder set up in the back yard and I can see it from the window in the kitchen.  I get the occasional grackle, but mainly doves, finches, etc.  I have passed many a pleasant Saturday morning watching birds, and the squirrels, as they stop by for a snack.  Occasionally a hawk will stop by, since I have a number of white-winged doves who have become nice and plump hanging out at my place, but that's the Circle.  My cats will sometimes try to catch the birds, but the one time Tiger actually was able to get a bird, he was so shocked that he immediately dropped it. 

One morning when I was at Walgreens checking out a grackle hit the window pretty hard.  I came out of the store and it was laying on the sidewalk.  I figured it was dead.  I got in my car and as I was getting ready to leave, a group of grackles gathered around the body.  I made the assumption that the other birds had gathered to eat their dead comrade--food is food, and everybody's got to eat.  I was wrong.  As I watched, a big black grackle approached and grabbed one of the legs of the fallen bird.  He pulled at it pretty hard.  Then he did it again.  Just as I thought, "What the heck?" the bird I thought was dead sat up(as much as a bird can sit up, but you get the idea).  The other birds seemed to gather around their fellow, and it almost seemed like they were trying to help him wake up.  After another minute or two, the bird that I thought was dead flew off, and his flock took flight with him.  Watching that little miracle made my day. 

Book Review: Walk Like You Have Somewhere To Go

Just finished this book, Walk Like You Have Somewhere To Go, by Lucille O'Neal.  Once again, a book outside my comfort zone.  I am afraid to say anything bad about this book, because if I do, Shaquille O'Neal will show up at my house and punch me in the face.  Just kidding.  He'd put his back out bending over to hit me, so I think I'm safe.

Ms. O'Neal has a great story to tell about her life, and she is a fair storyteller. I enjoyed her story very much.  I got the impression while reading that she would be much more dynamic if she were sitting across the table from me having a cup of coffee rather than on the pages of a book.  This is a strong woman who pulled herself up the ladder in life without the help of...well, wait.  She had lots of angels in her life, she just didn't always know it or accept the help. Which happens to us all every day.  But in Ms. Lucille's case, God kept knocking on her door until she opened it.  He was probably using a sledgehammer by that time, but He never gave up on her, and that is an important theme in the book.  At least, that is what I think she was trying to say.  Her style of writing was kind of piecemeal, and the sequences didn't always seem to be linear, so sometimes I finished a chapter and I was left a bit confused. 

There were also a few parts that were incongruous, such as when Ms. O'Neal started a bit of a lecture about parenting and knowing what your kids are doing.  Yet a couple of chapters later, the author is telling us that her daughter got pregnant in high school.  So...I'm going to say that Mom did not follow her own advice and know what her kid was doing in that particular instance.  Which is perfectly normal--teenagers are sneaky under normal circumstances.  Teenagers in "love" are completely off the charts in sneakiness.  It was just the tone of the lecture earlier in the book that made that part of the book stand out. 

And while Ms. O'Neal is very obviously a very spiritual woman, the way the book is written feels like God was thrown in there as an afterthought.  This was not intended, I am sure.  Also, at the end of the book are a list of verses that Ms. O'Neal says influenced her, along with her interpretation of what those verses mean.  That chapter comes across as a Sunday school homework assignment that was thrown in at the end.   Shaq's Mom has the makings of a good writer, but this particular venture just appeared to be unfinished.  While enjoyable, it left me wanting more.

The Karma Express

It's been a heck of a week.  Saturday night just as we were going to bed, Larry's mom hollers for him to come downstairs and help her because she was ill.  She seems to need to have a man do all her talking for her at these times, even if she is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, so she had Larry call the doctor and talk to him.  He ended up taking her to the ER, and they admitted her.  It's a measure of how tired I am of her living in my house that my response to this was "whatever."  I wish I could be more patient and kind, but I just can't right now. 

Around 5ish on Sunday, my dad had to go to the ER because he has pneumonia, and he just finished chemo and had no white blood cells.  So he was admitted to the hospital for that.  I was able to go and see him; he looked very weak, and he sounded breathy, for obvious reasons.  This was the first time I'd seen him without hair, and I asked him how come he didn't lose his eyebrows.  He sort of chuckled, so I took that as a good sign.  (But it is odd that you lose every hair on your body from chemo, even your nose hair--but not your eyebrows.)   He complained about feeling weak, and that that was the worst part.  That weakness I completely understand--you feel like you have to take a two hour nap after doing something as mundane as using the remote.  I hate that too. 

Around 3:30am on Monday, I woke up and my heart started racing.  Tachycardia.  I've had it before, and it usually goes away.  So I went back to sleep and got up at 6am. Still racing, but when I tried to do my normal morning activities such as making coffee, I felt very weak and out of breath and I had to rest.   One of the habits I have when something like this happens is I try to figure out what is happening.  In other words, I try to diagnose myself.  The reason I do this is simple--it helps keep me calm.  Calm is good.  So I came up with several hypotheses including asthma attack, heart attack, panic attack, and even pneumonia.  I took two puffs of my inhaler, and there was no change, which eliminated the asthma hypothesis.   Finally I decided that I needed to go see a doctor.  My first thought was that I would drive myself, but I reconsidered.    So Larry and I put Zane into the car and drove him to my SIL(Sister-in-law).  Then we went to the Texas Med Clinic.
I chose the Doc-in-the-Box for one simple reason--it's a 100$ co-pay to go to the ER, and 35$ for the Med Clinic.  I figured that if it was a real emergency they would send me to the ER, and I would deal with it then. 

The first problem encountered was that they couldn't get a pulse or a blood pressure using either the machines or manually.  They tried many times, first one person and then another.  They finally hooked me up to an ekg and got a pulse of 169.  The doctor came in and said that I was going to the ER, they were calling an ambulance.  That's when I got a little hysterical and cried, and the doctor hugged me.  Larry was freaking out a little, but he was holding it together pretty well, I thought.  All the times we've spent in hospitals has taken the shine off, apparently.

The paramedics showed up, and one of them stuttered.  This normally doesn't bother me, but I was kind of in a hurry, if you know what I mean.  I did a really good job, considering, of listening to what he was saying instead of finishing his sentences(a very bad habit of mine).  As they wheeled me out, I told the people in the waiting room "Don't order the veal!"   Larry was to follow the ambulance.  They got me into the vehicle, and started putting electrodes on me and they started an IV.  This hurt like a mother-scratcher, and I think the guy had trouble with it, because I have a bruise.   They tell me that they are going to give me something to help my heart, and it's going to make me feel weird.  Okay.  

That wasn't really an accurate description.  What they should have said was they were going to give me something that would feel as though the Hand of God is reaching into my chest and squeezing my heart like one of those stress balls, and that feeling will radiate out from the center of your chest to the rest of your body.  The first dose they gave me didn't do the job, so they gave me another, this time a double shot.  I distinctly remember looking out the back window of the ambulance and thinking that I was going to die looking at my husband sitting in our car--and then it was all over.  My pulse was on it's way back to normal, and I felt much, much better.  The drug they gave me was adenosine, which does what it needs to do in 6 seconds. What it does is stop your heart.  Think of adenosine as a "reboot" button.  I didn't know all this at the time, and thinking about it, adenosine would make a good torture instrument.  (Not that I'm advocating torture, but you get the idea.)

I still had to go to the ER and get checked out.  What struck me as odd is that the ER nurse asked me if I was being physicially abused.    I turned and looked at my husband who was speaking to an intake person--holding my purse for me.  I guess that is a routine question, but somehow I think that if a husband is willing to hold his wife's purse, that substantially lowers the odds that he is abusive. 

They ran a ton of tests on me, and then sent me home.  I have to go see a cardiologist and find out what the heck is going on, and all this will cost a fortune, I am sure.  My stress level has been higher than average since my MIL moved in with us("just until she gets back on her feet"), and I suppose that it's all catching up to me. 

But the wheel of fortune never stops turning, so I'm going to go buy some lottery tickets.   

Ramblings

We were sitting in a restaurant at lunch today, two of my coworkers and I, when we were approached by a woman.  She asked if she could sit with us, and she offered to buy us lunch if we let her.  We would have let her sit with us anyway, but okay.  She was a very nice lawyer from Austin, and we all had a nice meal, then strolled a bit on the Riverwalk before heading back to our conference.  Free lunch=good. 

Then there was the presentation from hell, which =bad.  Seriously.  This presenter was very obviously smarter than average--he was a lawyer who went back to school for a PhD to be a clinical psychologist.  He used many, many big words and cited all of his sources.  In other words, he talked over the heads of his audience--big no-no in PresentationLand.  Worse, he was talking about the DSM-IV, the 'bible' of mental disorders.  This is the kind of subject that gets my geek on, but not this time.  I was back there doing the head jerk every few seconds trying to stay awake.  I imagine that I probably looked like I was having a seizure.  People were cutting on themselves just to maintain consciousness(I'm kidding...I think).  It didn't help that this man sounded like Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off...on valium. 

It was interesting to note the difference between this man and the other presenters, who were lawyers.  The first presenter spoke conversationally, putting some complex information into easy to understand snippets without dumbing anything down.  He was probably the best presenter.    That man is smarter than the clinical psychologist, in my opinion.  I think this because you don't really KNOW something until you can explain it clearly to someone else.   Book learning is one thing, translating that data into a manageable format that can be explained to a lay person is something else entirely.  I had to learn that the hard way--many of the parents I have to explain my testing to don't have the education I have, but they want to understand what is going on.  They have a right to that, I think--how else can they make informed decisions?

It is a matter of knowing your audience.  But a number of school personnel, as well as those in other fields, do not seem to understand this, and will talk over a parent's head.  The parent, being embarrassed that they don't understand, will say that they understand, when they really don't.  I have had several parents who were up in arms because they had no idea their child was in Special Education, even though they signed the consents and other form.  Someone did not clearly communicate what was happening throughout the process. While I do wish that parents would speak up if they don't understand instead of just signing, ultimately it is the school's responsibility to make sure that the parent is able to make informed decisions. 

Badass

I love reading history books, as long as they were not approved by the Texas Board of Education(because then they aren't worth a damn, apparently). However, I understand that not everyone shares my love of historical events. A lot of history books are pretty dry, at best. At worst, they are downright boring. This is not that kind of a book. This is one of the coolest history books I've ever read. I had originally bought it for my nephew, but once I actually started perusing the pages I realized that his mother would have a massive coronary if she saw the language. Even if said language adds to the ambience.


The author, Ben Thompson, runs a site called badassoftheweek.com. He searches the history books for badasses. Not all of the badasses are men, nor are they all from the 20th century, which is refreshing. Thompson relates the stories with gusto, like a teenaged/college aged boy would describe a videogame boss fight to his friends--and this generates interest. The stories of these people maintain that interest. The humor seals the deal. There may be a bit of 'embellishment' in relating the stories, but this doesn't detract in the least. And each chapter is only at most five pages long--perfect for a short attention span or when you only have a minute here or there to read.   So of course, I read the whole thing in a couple of hours, with a pause here and there.

This might be a good book for a person who doesn't read a lot to improve their reading skills with a high interest book.  It would be perfect for a reader who has trouble with maintaining attention when reading.  In short, this is a perfect book to encourage reading in older teenaged boys.  The language is really the only thing I think that a parent might take issue with, but since the profanity is a part of the schtick and not specifically gratuitous, I wouldn't have a problem if my 15 year old decided to read it.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I won this book in a contest on gather.com, and I'm all about the free stuff.
Mr. Seth Grahame-Smith wrote the acclaimed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. One of the best things about that particular book was the dissonance between Austen's prose and zombie attacks. This latest volume doesn't have that, and the book suffers for it. Even though it's still pretty enjoyable, I wasn't staying up all night in order to read cover to cover.  

This time around, the author wrote a "biography" and inserted the story that Lincoln was actually a vampire hunter. It starts off with the early years, and Lincoln's mother being killed by a vampire instead of from the "milk sickness".  Turns out that Lincoln's father owed a vampire some money and she was a casualty when Mr. Lincoln's crop went belly up.  Abraham had no idea about the existence of vampires until his father got drunk one night and told him the truth.  Young Abraham decided that he would make it his life's mission to kill all vampires. Along the way he meets a young man who shares his ambitions, but this guy turned out to be not what he seemed.  Abraham also meets Edgar Allen Poe and a few other individuals who share his knowledge of the undead.  I wish that I could say that hilarity ensues, but killing vampires is serious business when you're not Buffy. 

Lincoln soon uncovers something horrific.  Some vamps had decided that the slave trade was a veritable buffet of blood, and aligned themselves with the South in order to do everything to keep the food coming. This horrified Lincoln, who vowed to do all he could to destroy the Southern Vampire Plan for World Domination.  The Civil War wasn't really about slavery, it was about keeping vampires from ruling the world, or at least America. Which amounts to the same thing in fiction world.
C for mediocre writing, B for the story. I can see this as a movie, and I did enjoy reading the book.  It just wasn't as good as I had hoped. 

My Dog Died This Morning

Sandy was 13 years old, a yellow Lab.  She hadn't been in good health, but seemed to get worse this weekend.  She was having trouble getting up and walking, and she was having trouble breathing.  Larry took her to the vet this week, and the doctor said that Sandy wasn't getting enough oxygen, so they gave her a steroid shot.  She did seem to get a little better, as far as the breathing went, and she didn't fall down for a couple of days.  But this morning around ten-thirty she got up and was trying to make it to the door to go outside, and she wasn't going to make it, so Larry helped her outside and then helped her back inside.  She got inside to about the middle of the kitchen and she just went down right there.  I thought that she was just resting; I brought her water, but she didn't drink.  I patted her a couple of times and told her she was a good dog, and left Larry petting her.  I went upstairs to get some Advil and when I came back downstairs to the kitchen I looked at her as I walked in.  She was dead, although that didn't hit me until I realized that she wasn't moving and I didn't hear her panting.  The silence of the dead is particularly jarring when it happens in your kitchen on Easter morning.

Sandy was a good dog.  She and I first met when Larry and I started dating. She was a spoiled brat, of course, and she and I had some discussions about who was boss.  I can remember her jumping on the bed at night and basically trying to shove me off the bed!  I guess I cramped her style.  It didn't help that I brought my two cats with me when I moved in, but Sandy didn't mind the cats as much as I thought she would.  She just minded me, at least at first.   Over the years, she got used to me, and even to like me, I think.  I only wish that Zane had gotten to know her when she was younger and could keep up with him.  By the time he came along she was winding down, sleeping most of the day.  The only time she really got excited or angry was when there was food to be had and when Rascal would try and hump her while she was laying down. (Rascal, my MIL's dog, is the only dog on the planet I would dearly love to punt.)

I've noticed that I never just let myself cry--I always fight it. I always lose that fight, but I guess I feel better about crying if I put up a fight. Crying over the loss of a loved one, including pets, shouldn't be something you fight, but I am what I am.  I'll probably cry off and on over the next month or so, mostly when I don't want to cry, like at work.  But I think that Sandy deserves a few tears. 
 

Daycare Dilemmas

We are in the process of trying to find a daycare for Zane.  He's really getting to be too much for my sister-in-law to handle; we have trouble keeping him occupied at home, and there's two of us.  When I was pregnant and looking for a daycare in New Braunfels, I was told several times that I should have put my name on a list a year before I got pregnant.  Luckily my sister-in law was there, but now it's time for him to move to a daycare.   We have tomorrow off, so we will be driving around looking at what daycare centers are in our neighborhood.  We will bring Zane, since he is to be the daycare attendee.   Then Larry started talking to his teacher friends at lunch and getting their opinions about the matter.

My husband means well, really he does. Nobody is better at researching than him. It's his timing that I have a problem with.  He finds out today that there is a website where you can look up daycare centers and the results of their state inspections.  So he starts looking up daycares, and he freaks out.  A lot.  And he's got me freaked out, reading some of the reports to me.

It is the state's job to find problems.  They find problems so that those problems can be corrected.  I think that is a wonderful thing.  And on this website is listed all the violations for each center, such as someone leaving a bottle of bleach out where kids could reach it.  Put the bottle out of reach, problem solved.  Clean the rust out of the sink, problem solved.  I expect every daycare to have a couple of 'deficiencies' here and there. Those things don't really concern me as much as when I see a number of violations involving inappropriate discipline, use of threatening or negative langugage, inappropriate touching of a child in anger(such as grabbing the arm), leaving a child unattended, etc.  These things border on abuse or neglect; I don't want my child, or anyone's child, in that kind of an environment. 

But is that a dealbreaker?   It depends.  Has the person in the complaint been fired or are they still employed by the facility?  If the person is still employed by the facility, has some sort of discipline occurred?  Has that person received training that addresses the issue, such as training in positive behavior interventions?

If the employee was fired, that tells me that there is zero tolerance for such behavior, and clearly established boundaries for employees as well as the children is a plus. Everybody knows where they stand.  If the employee is still on staff at the facility but has received additional training or counseling regarding their behavior, that also is a good thing. That tells me that the facility understands that this individual exhibits more positive traits than negative.  Sometimes a person has a bad day; if this was an isolated incident, then it should never happen again.  Additional training ensures that the person has "more tools in the toolbox" so they don't need to resort to negative behavior.

If the person was not fired, if this was not an isolated incident,  if this person continues to work at the facility without consequence or training, then this tells me that this is a sytemic issue with the facility.  That kind of a place gets crossed off our list.  In my opinion, those sorts of places should be closed down, because it's only a matter of time before some child gets seriously hurt or worse.

So we are doing our research, looking up all the potential daycares in our area for our trip tomorrow.  We are parents who pay attention and are doing our best to find a good place for Zane, a place where we can feel comfortable leaving him during the day.  It would be my hope that every parent would do this kind of research before they choose a daycare, but I know that not every parent has the same ability or interest as we do.  I just hope that no child suffers because of that.