How To Talk With Your Child's School

In the back to school chaos, some things get forgotten.  It's nobody's fault; there's supplies to purchase, drop off/pick up times to arrange, and lunches to pack.  Even when parents come to "Meet the Teacher" events, there's often so many other parents there that the teacher can only spare a moment or two with each person.  A number of teachers hand out an informational sheet which lets parents know about general rules, homework, and they may provide a phone number or an email address at that time.  Parents rarely think that they will have to contact the teacher, for any reason.  The expectation for most parents is that the school year will run smoothly, and they won't have to use that teacher's number or email.

Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.  

The best communications between school and home are purposeful, focused on the child, and end with everyone feeling that they were heard.  Over my years in public school, I've spoken with many parents. I've seen what gets results and what does not.   There are a few tips for successfully communicating with your child's school.

Work WITH the school, not against.  Believe it or not, your child's school has a system in place.  Kids having problems with learning or behavior are identified by teachers and interventions are put into place to address those. Sometimes a little attention is all it takes to get a child back on track, sometimes more is needed. Those decisions by a school are based on data, such as test scores, observations, etc.  The goal is to intervene just enough to help without limiting the child's ability to learn independently.  

Listen.  I've had parents walk into meetings already angry and screaming.  Nothing happens when people are screaming; it is too loud to think, let alone talk. 

Ask Questions.  If you don't understand, ask.  If it's not explained clearly, ask again.  You have the right to understand what is happening in the education of your student.

Speak positive. Find the good.  It's right there in front of you.  Is your kid happy?  Does he or she like school?  That's a good thing.  Point that out.  Start your concern with a positive. For example:  "My child loves coming to school every day, Ms. Fisher.  She loves your class.  I have a concern about the amount of homework, however.  Can you explain the policy to me, including accommodations that might be available?" 

Follow the chain of command. Nothing makes me angrier than being blindsided by a problem I didn't even know I needed to fix.  If a parent has a problem with something I said or something I did or didn't do, then I am the person to talk to first.  It's the same with teachers.  Talk to the teacher first. An email works better than a phone call, but if all you have is time to text, that's great.  

If the teacher does not respond,  make another attempt, then contact the principal.  Ask for a meeting politely and schedule that meeting.  Show up for the meeting with data--emails, work samples, etc.  Speak your mind, ask questions, and discuss your ideas for a solution.  

Moms and Dads, your engagement with the school is necessary and a vital part in the success of your child, no matter who they are or where they are.  Schools, your engagement with parents is necessary and a vital part in the success of all children, no matter who or where they are.  

We are on the same team.  Remember that.