Expanding My Creative Horizons

They say that you're supposed to keep your mind active as you get older.  You're supposed to try new things.  It keeps the brain happy, the neurons firing, the nerve cells communicating.

I'm in favor of that.

I used to be embarrassed by my artistic efforts.  I think most people are shy about their artistic skills.  Nobody likes to be laughed at, understandably.  Nowhere else is your heart and soul put on display as it is in artistic expression. 

I feel comfortable putting my writing out there, of course.  I can take criticism in this area, because I know that the end result will help me to become a better writer.  I'm not as comfortable with drawing, or painting or even playing around with one of my son's computer apps.  That tendency to think that everything has to be perfect, that anything I do has to be a masterpiece is difficult to let go.

But I try.  

My Creativity Only Goes So Far

Zane brought this letter home from school the other day.  Actually, he stuffed into his backpack, and I found it when I was attempting to pull out his lunchbox.  Because organizational skills are genetic.

Dear Parents/Guardians,

The 1st grade students will have a nutrition parade on October 27th (Monday) at 10:00. Each student will need to dress up as a type of food. Please be creative!!!

Examples:

*Grapes- use balloons attached to a shirt.

*Cereal Box- decorating a box and cut a hole out for their head.

*Sandwich- using poster board or foam.

~Students can dress up as any type of food.

The parade will take place in the church parking lot (weather permitting).

On October 27th the students will also need to bring a food from the food group to share with the class. (Store Bought Only)

Please have the students bring their food to class with them in the morning.

The students will receive a participation grade for the costume and food item.

Thank you,

The 1st Grade Teachers

I'd hoped we could avoid such events, especially after last year and the Egg Incident. My son and a few of his classmates were overheard making fun of one of the girls in the parade. The poor girl was dressed up as an egg, and the boys couldn't resist.  Everybody knows that eggs should never be unescorted; they should always be accompanied by bacon.  The principal disagreed, of course, and we got a note AND a phone call, unheard of in the world of private school discipline. You can bet that my son heard all about it.

Now it is Zane's turn.  Ever the vigilant mother, I leaped into action. Box of crackers for the grain group?  Check.  But then...I reread that part about the costume. 

Be creative?

My first reaction was to become defensive.  What the heck is that supposed to mean, "be creative"?  Are they insinuating that my child-decorating skills are lacking?  Be creative? Are they saying that I can't make a blankety-blank costume for my own child?  Is that what they're saying here?  Blankety-blank.

Yes, I went there, and I spent a good twenty minutes griping to myself about it.  Then I got a little depressed.

Be creative?  Really?

I can create worlds inside my head, kingdoms full of witches and fairies and knights in shining tin foil, and put those worlds on paper.  I can write a relatively decent song lyric.  I can do a passable watercolor, one that sort of looks like whatever I was going for.  I can make my own jewelry.  I can cross stitch, and crochet, and occasionally dance.

But my creativity only goes so far.

When it comes to making a stupid costume, I'm all thumbs, and I knew that.  I had to face reality:  I have difficulty using scissors without cutting myself at least once, and I cannot sew in a straight line.  I broke one too many needles on my mother's sewing machine and was banned for life, so that was out as an option.  Staples and duct tape, my usual clothing repair choices, are probably not going to work here.

I just am not a Macgyver Mom(if nobody else has coined that yet, dibs), who can whip something up out of leftover toilet paper rolls, paper clips, and wire hangers. It's not going to happen, either.  More than my lack of skill in costume making, however, I realized that I was panicking at the thought of trying to rush through creating a costume in the middle of working, soccer, housekeeping, and cancer.  I know myself.  I would spend more time freaking out about the costume in a fit of indecisiveness than actually working on the costume, which would likely be completed at 2am on Sunday, October 26th. Except that I have my lumpectomy scheduled for Friday, October 24th, and who knows how that's going to turn out?  I'm supposed to be outpatient, but at best, I'll be doing a lot of lying very still and not moving.   Not a good position from which to work on a costume. Something had to give in this situation. 

In the words of pop culture, "Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!"

The extent of my creativity in this particular venture, after all of that angst?  Amazon is a mom's best friend! They actually have costumes of food! Zane is going to be a fried egg, because I have a quirky sense of humor, whether the principal appreciates it or not.  The boy is going to participate by making himself some bacon out of construction paper to carry with him for his little parade. 

He is better at using scissors than I am, anyway.

Tabula Rasa

Write a blog post.

Sounds simple, doesn't it?  I should be able to write one of those without too much thought.  Write a few paragraphs and hit 'publish', and then I can get to the other things on my 'to-do' list, like laundry.

Easy?

Nope.  Nada.  I got zip.

The blank screen that greets me doesn't help, either.

It's not like paper. With a blank sheet of paper, there's that feeling of anticipation, that sense that anything is possible, as if what you might write can become anything at all, from a simple recipe to the great American novel.  The press of the pen to the paper, the flow of the ink as it forms the letters, all drive that creative need.

There's nothing encouraging about the whiteness of a computer screen.  The whiteness seems to glare at me, the blinking cursor taunting me with a blankness that invades my head, sucking all the creativity right out of me.  Even my cat Pounce, who likes to put her face in front of my monitor and follow my typing, is not impressed.

Should I write about the latest True Detective?  How about the cold weather that showed up today?  Should I write about The Fault in Our Stars, which I just finished?  How about my cat?  Cats should be good for a couple of paragraphs.  After all, they're always doing wacky things on the internet. My head is empty on this day, my mind a blank slate.  The river of my creativity has been dammed this day.

I start, then delete, then start again.  Then I get annoyed at myself for being wishy washy.  That is not normal for me.  I am pretty decisive in my writing. I generally just sit down and start typing, after an idea has percolated in my brain all day.  

I'm not used to just...nothing.  It's a bit anxiety-provoking.  What if this blankness is the new norm?  What if I never have an original thought ever again?  Does that mean I will be the next Sarah Palin?  I cannot see Russia from my house, but I imagine I could clean up enough for a political campaign.

I refuse to panic yet. 

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.  Maybe tomorrow inspiration will strike and all will be well.  I need to think positive, right?

Right.

Does this happen to everyone else, or is it just me?  

Creativity With Words

When my son was younger, we were concerned about his language.  He was a preemie, and preemies have a higher likelihood of learning issues.  We are watching him, just in case.  When Zane was around fifteen months, he got sick, and the few words he knew went away.  We were concerned about it, enough to take him to see someone about it.  Once he hit the daycare, his language took off running, and he's never looked back.  Since then, I have had fun listening to him acquire words and begin to use them in sentences.  He's got a hellacious auditory memory--he seems to remember songs after only one hearing, and he can recite almost verbatim what he hears other people saying(hence my concern about profanity!).  He certainly has been exposed to an expansive vocabulary. 

Zane isn't waiting for us to tell him words, however.  He's made a few of them up all on his own.  It took my husband and I a little while to catch on.  We are a bit slow.  But once we realized that our child was playing with language, that he was creating his own version, we couldn't be prouder.   He seems to be fond of onomatopoeia.  When a video game character causes an explosion of some sort,  Zane says that the character got "boomed" up.  When a character on the show Ninjago gets attacked with a sword, Zane says that he was "shinged", which is the sound effect that the sword makes when it is pulled from the scabbard.    Zane says "last day" instead of  "yesterday", which is our clue that he hasn't quite got the full concept of elapsed time.  Lots of things have happened "last day" in Zaneworld!

We have tried to expose Zane to as many words as we can, and we will continue to do that.  As long as he's interested in what we have to teach him, we will keep trying.  My husband always tells Zane the definitions of the words he uses around Zane, which is better than telling him to "look it up."  I have been tempted to ask Zane what he thinks the word means based on how it was used, but I am not sure that it is developmentally appropriate.  I do wait for Zane to ask me about the word, because I know that if he asks me about the word, he is attending.  But the words sink in either way, and that is the point. The vocabulary expands, reading skills improve, and teachers write nice notes home for that sort of stuff.