tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post8194301635100309325..comments2024-03-28T17:29:41.606-05:00Comments on Not Just Another Mother Blogger!: BreakupTMWHickmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-43647902533176570492012-09-04T10:43:13.555-05:002012-09-04T10:43:13.555-05:00Aw. Certainly not the meeting she was expecting! L...Aw. Certainly not the meeting she was expecting! Love when it's for the better!Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-57363267684704787652012-09-01T14:10:05.597-05:002012-09-01T14:10:05.597-05:00Oops! Sorry about that! Thank you.Oops! Sorry about that! Thank you.TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-3268546117369151112012-09-01T13:51:52.192-05:002012-09-01T13:51:52.192-05:00Ah, yes. Nothing like that surprise question to ge...Ah, yes. Nothing like that surprise question to get the blood pumping in one's ears. I love the chocolate reference to his voice. Perfect. <br /><br />You've got an extra "was" here: "Carolyn was was sure that she had misheard."<br /><br />My only suggestion would be to flip this from passive to active. Look at where your "was" and "had" are and see if you can restructure the sentences. Passive past tense isn't an evil thing, but the story can get bogged down in the extra words. Just something to keep in mind. <br /><br />Love this lighthearted piece. Well done!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-27640523120912726872012-09-01T01:38:10.196-05:002012-09-01T01:38:10.196-05:00"to be the destroyer not the recipient."..."to be the destroyer not the recipient." Isn't that what we all want, really? LOL. Who hasn't been in this situation (the first half of the scene at least). <br />I love the way her perspective changes when he focuses his attention on her. Now that is an accurate portrayal of human nature. Though I can't help but wonder what else she is oblivious to in her life. Jim Christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07369741393336008645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-11869041972839718712012-08-31T22:55:20.307-05:002012-08-31T22:55:20.307-05:00Wow! Neat piece. Made me smile! :) Love how you sa...Wow! Neat piece. Made me smile! :) Love how you said "chocolate sort of voice". Great and fresh description there.CG @ Paper Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14954615708675952085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-66029121709667927332012-08-31T15:42:56.294-05:002012-08-31T15:42:56.294-05:00I wondered that, too!I wondered that, too!TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-20781590570562859022012-08-31T10:56:03.223-05:002012-08-31T10:56:03.223-05:00Well, that certainly didn't go as planned. Sti...Well, that certainly didn't go as planned. Still, I wonder if it's wise for her to say yes, considering she was so ready to break up with him?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com