tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post5977055609088264028..comments2024-03-22T18:06:02.887-05:00Comments on Not Just Another Mother Blogger!: Kiss The RainTMWHickmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-87310690955675218882012-11-18T19:35:58.670-06:002012-11-18T19:35:58.670-06:00Thank you. We are currently experiencing drought h...Thank you. We are currently experiencing drought here, so rain is on my mind.TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-80300063017658046572012-11-18T19:06:29.344-06:002012-11-18T19:06:29.344-06:00Water sprite might be a good idea.Water sprite might be a good idea.TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-44409341057827954842012-11-18T12:51:40.884-06:002012-11-18T12:51:40.884-06:00Thank you and I will!Thank you and I will!TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-59435787262179871412012-11-18T12:51:08.059-06:002012-11-18T12:51:08.059-06:00I thought of all sorts of stuff right after I hit ...I thought of all sorts of stuff right after I hit publish!TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-39111701744725145952012-11-18T10:45:34.415-06:002012-11-18T10:45:34.415-06:00You're right, I should have added more about ...You're right, I should have added more about the man!TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-31739517053606209612012-11-17T16:33:07.028-06:002012-11-17T16:33:07.028-06:00This was beautiful. And romantic. Makes me love th...This was beautiful. And romantic. Makes me love the rain!Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04841767868797265391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-44341511143888802742012-11-17T14:03:14.714-06:002012-11-17T14:03:14.714-06:00"your" not "you're". Grrr...."your" not "you're". Grrr. Need more coffee.Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-41142357892928658392012-11-17T14:02:15.731-06:002012-11-17T14:02:15.731-06:00Nice. It felt like a kelpie or silkie story, witho...Nice. It felt like a kelpie or silkie story, without the ominous end. <br /><br />My suggestion would be to flip this from passive past tense to active. While I'm weird and I don't believe passive voice to be a buzz kill, I think in terms of your tale it weighs the action down. If/when you revisit, look where you're "had"s are. and adjust the past tense accordingly, and you'll have a stronger scene.<br /><br />Well done!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-58734420043665925812012-11-17T03:03:58.909-06:002012-11-17T03:03:58.909-06:00Elena's joy is easy to feel and fresh to read....Elena's joy is easy to feel and fresh to read. Enjoyed the cryptic elements!CG @ Paper Furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14954615708675952085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-32377603889615751632012-11-16T20:50:35.617-06:002012-11-16T20:50:35.617-06:00I enjoyed the way you contrasted the tightness of ...I enjoyed the way you contrasted the tightness of the drought with the freedom and joy of the rain. It makes me wonder about him and their connection, especially with the part about rain having been her only companion. I think my favorite part was the image of her sleeping in the shelter of the tree.angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14974137283220034062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-20828412060719915622012-11-16T20:06:46.874-06:002012-11-16T20:06:46.874-06:00I think you have some good suggestions here about ...I think you have some good suggestions here about where you could go with this. I like the water sprite to go along with her playfulness.katie eggemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615362861509258088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-7166844433517404802012-11-16T16:28:28.412-06:002012-11-16T16:28:28.412-06:00who is the man? this story...i could totally read...who is the man? this story...i could totally read more. so write more!melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15695054448405679988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-7630272038981967432012-11-16T15:46:49.056-06:002012-11-16T15:46:49.056-06:00Love how you described her reaction to the rain. V...Love how you described her reaction to the rain. Very playful. Curious about the mystery man. Wish you had delved into him more.Patricia JLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17582005500429122486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1079589059457212218.post-80965718306978240742012-11-16T15:05:27.742-06:002012-11-16T15:05:27.742-06:00The contrast of the drought and the deluge was nic...The contrast of the drought and the deluge was nicely done. Her joy was childlike in its completeness. I<br /><br /> think maybe it would feel more finished if there was more of a hint about what he was, maybe he is the rain personified and her reaction gave him shape, maybe he's a water sprite, maybe he's a piece of madness? The line while she's twirling and feeling eyes upon her opens that door, I think. <br /><br />I enjoyed the read!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com